The Gift
by gingerbreadcoffin
Summary: Dark AU. "I didn’t want one. I repeatedly expressed my desire for anything but a vampire for my 18th birthday....What they were used for didn’t seem right for me either; sex or violence. You could torture one when you were upset or sleep with it."
1. Chapter 1

**Bella**

I didn't want one. I repeatedly expressed my desire for anything but a vampire for my 18th birthday. It was custom for girls my age and in my station to receive one but the thought of it disgusted me. It wasn't like receiving a kitten when you were seven, at one point those creatures had been human. It just didn't seem right to me. What they were used for didn't seem right for me either; sex or violence. You could torture one when you were upset or sleep with it. I maintained rather dated views on virginity, unlike most of those around me and I was not a fan of beatings.

When I stepped into the grand hall of our estate I could see him. He was on all fours wearing nothing but filthy rags and chained in Nosferite. It made vampires weak, it burned them. Michael was kicking him shamelessly. He had always been especially cruel in my opinion. The thing hadn't eaten in a long time; they starved them before presenting them to make them less likely to fight. Truthfully most of them knew better than that but vampire sellers didn't seem to care. The punishment brought onto a vampire who fought back was a most terrible thing.

My father looked at me "He is a virgin." He stated point blank. "Cost more than he was probably worth from the looks of him but they are so hard to come by." I suspect he thought I'd be more comfortable if he was as inexperienced as I was but truthfully I was never going to use him for anything. I moved closer to get a better look at him and then my heart stopped. Vampires were all beautiful but he was beyond so even as dirty as he was. His liquid amber eyes met mine and he looked angry and frightened, the poor thing. He didn't know I wasn't going to hurt him especially now as Michael was trying to hand me a Nosferite club. I shuddered. I pushed his offer away "Send him to my room." I said trying to sound authoritative but failing miserably.

He trashed violently against his chains in protest and Michael struck him with a heavy blow. He fell to the ground and snarled like an animal. Michael struck him again even harder and he screamed in pain. It was too awful to look at. Michael struck him a third time for spite and his body heaved with agony. "That's enough Michael!" I shouted. "Jessica," I addressed our maid "Take the gift to my room." She nodded and yanked him by his chains and he followed defeated. He could barely move and when he stood up I could see welts from multiple blows.

The rest of my birthday went rather uneventfully. The cake was absolutely divine but deep down I couldn't enjoy it. I was sure Jessica would not feed or bathe the vampire and of course applying ointment to his burns was out of the question for she found these things beneath her. I did not see Michael at the party so it was safe to assume that he and Jessica had snuck off together which even further supported the theory that the creature was dirty, hungry, and in pain. I excused myself at the earliest time it would be appropriate and went upstairs.

Jessica never returned from her frolicking with Michael. When I entered my room the creature was on the floor shaking with sobs. I would be crying too if I were in his position. A bath had been drawn in my bathroom by another servant too oblivious to care for my gift. I helped him up slowly and led him into my bathroom. He looked confused; he knew enough to know he was not allowed in there. Vampires were bathed outside with the animals typically. It would be unheard of for a vampire to wash in a marble bathtub. "It's alright, I won't say anything if you don't." I said softly. "I'm Bella, what's your name?"

"Edward." He croaked. I could feel his intense hatred for me even in his weak state. I can't say I particularly blamed him. He looked like the type that had fought back initially; he certainly had the scars for it. It would take time but he would learn that I was not a threat to him.

"Edward, I'm not going to hurt you. Do you think you can bathe yourself or do you need me to wash you?" I blushed at the thought. I was probably the only 18 year old girl in the world embarrassed by a naked vampire. He looked offended and wretched himself away from me when I said that. I took that as my cue to leave him.

Alice, my dressing maid had left a lovely nightgown on my bed. Though a vampire's pleasure was considered irrelevant in the act of bedding it was still customary for young women to wear very erotic nightgowns for the act. I bribed Alice with a jeweled bracelet in exchange for something less scandalous. It was a floor length gown of peach silk trimmed with ivory lace. The neckline was too low for my taste and it was practically backless but such things were minor compared to some of the red and black lace atrocities I have seen in the shops. I fidgeted in the nightgown striving to obtain maximum coverage suddenly I heard a loud thud and a painful moan come from the bathroom. Without thinking I rushed in to make sure Edward was alright.

**Edward**

She was a vision. The way the stunning nightgown fell over her delicate curves, her hair cascading down her back in gentle mahogany curls, the way her fair skin glowed in the moonlight streaming through the window. My breath hitched. No, no this was wrong. She was my captor I could not feel like this about her. Humans were our enemies. But she was different; I could see it in her eyes.

She blushed when she saw me naked in the tub. I did not want to admit it but I needed this human's help. Initially I simply soaked hoping that would relieve my pain but when I tried washing myself my arm slipped and hit the side of the bathtub. It shouldn't have been painful but the Nosferite had done a lot of damage. I could barely move. I waited for her to say something snide or laugh but instead she simply picked up a washcloth and dipped it into the warm water. She began gently scrubbing my face, then my arms, and shyly moving across my torso. I had not felt such caring touches in many years. Not since I was a human child and my mother cared for me. Unwillingly, I shuddered with pleasure as she moved across my chest. She blushed furiously and I was struck again by her soft beauty.

I had not seen a human woman who was not a guard in years. The guard women were large and rough always too eager to strike a blow. My seller held out on a high price for me and I stayed in his stalls for what seemed like an eternity. I watched everyone else be sold but he insisted I was going to sell for more and it would be worth his time to keep me. He spoke of Charles Swan the legendary industrialist nonstop for weeks. When I was first captured I fought back. Every excruciating punishment imaginable was brought onto me and finally he broke me. Still a cautious man he made sure I was near my second death before presenting me to Mr. Swan. He told me to behave myself or I would be punished more severely than I could ever dream of, I didn't know there were punishments worse than that I had received.

There were vampires that had been recaptured who told me stories of going to the homes of wealthy women. It was better than being sent to a factory but not by much. They were cruel and violent and when they were not beating us they force us to sleep with them. Bella seemed so unlike the women they talked about, she was shy and gentle and I could not picture her being wrathful or lusty. I wondered what my future at this estate would be like.

I knew better than to trust a human though. She would surely turn on me, maybe not now and maybe not tomorrow but she would. Perhaps she would tell her father to put me to work in one of his factories. She smiled at me and I could not tear my eyes away from her face. There was so much loveliness and kindness in it. "You're all clean now." She whispered "You dry off and I'll get your ointment, it seems the maid forgot about it." A huge sigh of relief came from me. My burns were so painful it was getting difficult for me to see straight.

I wrapped myself in a towel and stepped out into her bedroom. She stood before me with a little white bottle seeming apprehensive about what she was about to do. I begged fate that she would go through with it and much to my surprise she did. Her childlike white hands smoothed the rich cream across my skin. It should not have felt as good as it did. I felt something completely inappropriate stirring beneath my waist and tried to think of things much less pleasant than her soft hands touching me. "There," she said "All done." I sighed. "You may go to bed now." She told me. I blinked with surprise. Did she not wish me to pleasure her? Did she find me unappealing? Why was I hurt by this? She read the confusion on my face "I shall not require your services tonight or any other night. I must confess you were a gift I did not wish to receive. I wish to maintain my purity until I find someone who I love, someone who loves me. It is a rather old fashioned view I realize but I hold on to it fiercely. You may spend your days as you wish, you are welcome to wander the estate as long as you do not get into trouble. Please let me know if you should need something." I nodded slowly and she smiled "Goodnight Edward."

"Goodnight." I echoed as I let myself into my room. It was bigger than the cage I was kept in but not by much. Unlike the cage however it was quite clean. There were Nosferite chains in the corner, a lower grade I presumed and a shelf with burn ointment and night pills. Vampires naturally did not sleep but humans felt unsafe with us awake at all hours so we forced to take drugs when they slept. We could not wake on our own and they woke us when they felt like it. I had not taken night pills before. It was too expensive to provide all of us in the stalls with them so they had guards watch us in shifts. The recaptured vampires warned me that they gave some of us terrible nightmares. There were clean clothes on the mat; pajama pants and a set of day clothes. I donned the pajama pants and took the night pills. The fabric of the pajama pants was much softer than anything I had been given in the stalls and while the mat was not exactly comfortable it had at least some padding unlike sleeping on the floor of a cage. I found myself drifting off to sleep quite easily.

They finally found us in the mountains. Over 80 years we had been hiding, since I was changed in that hospital. I was struck with a Nosferite club. The first time is always the worst, the pain seared through me. It only took the hunter a minute to snap on the chains. I was screaming and I couldn't stop. He laughed at me "You'll fetch a decent price." He told me. The others had been loaded into the car already but I had hid at the back of the cave. He didn't like that I did that. He struck me again for spite. Oh god the burning! Again, and again, and again he came down on me still laughing. The pain was indescribable. It takes a lot to draw blood from a vampire but I was bleeding all over the floor of the cave. I couldn't even form words.

"Edward! Edward!" I felt something soft against my skin. Someone was pulling me out of wherever I was. I grasped frantically and the pain in my arms nearly sent me over the edge. But there it was, I found them. The body crashed against my chest. "Shh, shh it was a nightmare Edward. It's alright." I opened my eyes. I wasn't in the cave anymore, I was in a small sterile room with a woman holding me, rocking me back and forth slowly and rubbing soothing circles on my back. I began to cry, it was something I never wished to relive, my capture. It was dark in the room, morning had not come yet. "Why did you wake me so early?"

She pulled back from with wide eyes "You were having a nightmare. I heard you screaming in your sleep."

"I apologize if I woke you." I said. My voice was far harsher than it ought to have been "Do you wish me to take more pills?"

"No! Absolutely not! Not if this is how you will be sleeping." She exclaimed. Now my eyes were wide. Did she plan on not going to sleep? Would she send me away? I panicked. I heard stories about the factories they made our kind work in. I wasn't sure if they would be better or worse than the nightmare. "You may stay awake." She assured me "As long as you do not go wandering about. I can bring you some books if you get bored."

"And you are not afraid?" I asked her coldly. Is this how I responded to her kindness? I was unworthy to say the least.

"Your desire for self-preservation will keep me alive I suspect. I'm sure you know the punishment for killing a human." She was right. "Do you need anything or may I go back to bed?" I shook my head. "Goodnight Edward." I stood in amazement. I couldn't even thank her or say goodnight. Was this even real? I lay on the mat unsure what to do with myself or what to make of my current circumstances. I desperately wanted to understand Bella, what made her who she was and why she did what she did.

I stood up and opened the door that connected her room to mine. She lay on her bed like an illustration from a fairy tale, like Sleeping Beauty. She was breathtaking. A beautiful girl, yes, but there was more to her. There was purity in her face that I had never seen on anyone, sincerity, innocence. I moved closer to the bed to look at her. Her full pink lips were slightly parted in an unintentionally enticing manner. I wished to be the prince that woke her but I was less than the lowliest servant. It took every bit of willpower not too touch her. The sun had risen completely, I didn't know what time it was but I heard a knock on her door and quickly retreated into my room.

"Miss Bella!" A high voice called "Miss Bella it's time to get up. I have your dress for the day."

"Come in Alice." I heard the knob turn and then light footsteps. "Oh Alice it's a lovely dress!" She exclaimed as though she were instantly awake.

"Well let's get you into it then." I was bombarded with images I had no business conceiving of; her slipping out of that peach nightgown, her slender legs and round breasts bare in the sunlight. I was ready to slap myself for thinking such things about a virtuous girl.

Bella opened the door to my room. Indeed it was a lovely dress, much more lovely than I would have liked it to have been. It was a champagne colored heavy linen with jeweled buttons. It cinched at her waist and the skirt belled out which emphasized her feminine figure. I could not stop staring. "Edward, shall I have artificial blood brought up for you?" I remembered the burning in my throat and nodded eagerly. "I shall send up Jessica. I'm sure she wouldn't mind taking a break from serving the rest of breakfast."

_If you like the story please take the time to review it, I'd really appreciate it. _


	2. Chapter 2

Michael and his family were leaving today, thank god. I found him to be utterly despicable but father insisted on inviting the Newtons to our estate. I made a point of avoiding him after breakfast. I wanted to visit our library anyways. I have always had a great love of literature and I was fortunate to live in a house with so many books. I scanned the shelves of the library trying to find something I had not read before. I picked out a think volume with a rich red leather cover and made myself comfortable in one of the armchairs. I must have read for hours for Angela, one of the maids was sent to fetch me to join everyone for lunch outside. Lunch and a game of croquet had been scheduled for this afternoon.

My thoughts about my vampire were much more peaceful today. He had been bathed and clothed and I assume fed. I could focus more easily on the taste of lavender lemonade and fresh cookies. Midway through our match the light conversation took an unpleasant turn.

Mr. Newton was Nosferite magnate. In fact most of the Nosferite products that one bought were from him, he practically had a total monopoly on the industry. I had given his business little thought before. I never thought it was pleasant but seeing its effects so close made it seem unearthly horrible. He and my father began to talk business. "Oh we've made some grand advancements in Nosferite technology. Why Michael here carries one of our newest devices, a gun that fires Nosferite bullets. It took forever to get approved because the Nosferite is so powerful. It's not enough to kill a vampire yet but I hope one day it will be. I made it especially for my family, some vampires forget their place you know and they bear a certain resentment to us Newtons." He chuckled at that. Resentment? For shame! I mean all the man does is invent torture devices for vampires, why on earth would they ever resent him? I bit my tongue. "You know I'd be happy to pass along some of our newer products to you and yours. I'm sure you've selected a wonderful vampire for your daughter but one can never be too careful."

"Thank you Mr. Newton but that will not be necessary." I choked.

Michael turned to me "Bella I know you have a kind heart and you perhaps even feel sorry for the pathetic creatures but remember they are monsters and we need to control them." Funny _you_ should say that Michael.

"Could we please discuss something more pleasant?" I requested.

"As you wish darling." He replied with an oily smile. I loathed him calling me that. After the game he disappeared somewhere (with Jessica I would assume). I went back to the library to continue with my reading. I remembered to pick out a few for Edward as well. I didn't know what he liked, or how well he read so I chose a beautifully illustrated book of fairytales, one of my favorite novels, and two books of poetry. It was far too nice of a day outside to be cooped up so I decided to take my reading outside, perhaps beneath one of the old elm trees.

I was completely lost in my book when I heard a shot in the distance. It seemed oddly close for a hunting shot but I didn't pay much mind to it until I heard the scream. That scream was not like anything I heard in my entire life. I've never heard so much pain expressed by man or beast. Beast. Man. Michael! Oh hell's bells! I took off running in the direction of the scream; it wasn't far from the old elms. It led me to my old playhouse and when I saw them I gasped. Michael standing over Edward with the Nosferite gun in his hand and Edward on ground bleeding on the flowerbed. I ran to his side and shrieked at him "Michael! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"He was out of line, he insulted me." He replied coldly.

"So you shot him?!" I exclaimed in disbelief. Was this a duel on honor with only one party armed? This was utter madness! "Go get my father and yours, one of them is bound to know what to do, I hope." Most doctors didn't treat vampires. There were a handful of vampire doctors but I had no idea where the closest one was. I cradled him in my lap and stroked his forehead gently. "Someone will be here soon." I whispered "We'll get you help, I promise."

I decided to spend the day exploring the property since Bella said it was alright to do so. It truly was a magnificent house. I watched her play croquet from the window. She looked happy at first but then the fat man with the pointed beard began talking and her mood shifted. She looked uncomfortable, then angry. I wanted to strike him for making her feel like that, I wasn't sure why. After the croquet game ended I took a walk about the grounds. I found a little cottage on the property and peered through the window. Everything there was miniature; miniature table, miniature chairs, a child's tea set was out. It had obviously been built for her when she was a child. It reminded me of my grandmother's house when I was human. I did not realize such extravagance was popular, I supposed if the furniture were bigger an adult could live in the house. How odd, she was so spoiled by her father but she had the most wonderful temperament.

"How was the little virgin, degenerate?" I heard a snide voice behind me. I turned to see the boy who had beat me yesterday standing before me.

"I would not know." I said quietly.

"Was she revolted by you?" He taunted. "Don't worry I'll take much better care of her when it's my turn." I snarled at him. How dare he speak like that of her? It took every bit of strength not to tear him into pieces right there and then.

"She wouldn't ever touch you." I spat. I knew this was true, I saw how she looked at him. She despised him. I couldn't exactly blame her for it.

"What did you say you little freak?" He growled at me.

I was walking a very dangerous path but I didn't care. I was boiling over with rage. She was far too good for him. "I said," I repeatedly slowly "She wouldn't ever touch you."

"How dare you!" He shouted. "Do you know who I am?" He took a deep breath through his teeth "I guess you will have to be put in your place." He drew a gun. I almost laughed out loud. Was he really that stupid? Did he not know bullets wouldn't even pierce our skin? This was going to be fun. He fired and much to my surprise the bullet went straight into my right shoulder. I unleashed a bloodcurdling scream. The pain. The pain was worse than anything, worse than the first time I ever was exposed to Nosferite. I couldn't stop screaming. I was unable to focus; the whole world became a blur of agony.

Bella, was Bella here? I could hear her voice I thought, she sounded angry. I didn't know who she was angry with me or him. I felt her pull me into her lap and her cool hands stroked my forehead. She whispered to me "Someone will be here soon. We'll get you help, I promise." I tried to focus on her touch instead of the pain. There were footsteps approaching. Two men were arguing, the boy's father and Bella's. Mr. Swan sounded very angry and the other man seemed mildly disgruntled. He seemed to be more peeved about being disturbed from whatever he was doing than his son's behavior.

"Well if you're that bothered by it, Dr. Cullen isn't too far from here. He treats vampires." He sneered.

"Do you see how upset my daughter is?" Mr. Swan shouted "That was a very expensive gift and it would be near impossible to replace a virgin male vampire! I want you to go to my driver at once and tell him how to get to doctor whatever his name's house!" I closed my eyes drowning in the pain, everything went dark.

We were extremely lucky Dr. Cullen's house was not too, too far away from our property. Still there was the concern of how far we were to edge of our property since it was quite extensive. The only way I knew Edward was not at his second death was his face was constantly contorting into new expressions of agony. My father didn't understand why I was so upset but he comforted me nonetheless. "It will be alright Bells." He assured me. He called Dr. Cullen ahead of time and explained the situation; he was already waiting for us at the front door of his house. His eyes met mine and he registered the concern on my face, he nodded knowingly.

Dr. Cullen had never had to remove a bullet from a vampire before since Nosferite bullets were a new invention. Esme, his wife assured me that Edward was in capable hands. She was young and extremely beautiful and there was an air of serenity about her. She sat me in their drawing room and offered me tea and toast. I could barely eat because I was so nervous. I was still cursing Michael silently. Esme had laid down a blanket on my chair so my bloody dress would not dirty it. How absurd! I'm having tea with someone in a dress covered in vampire blood.

"Miss Swan, may I ask you something?" Esme asked softly.

"Please, call me Bella Mrs. Cullen."

"Only if you promise to call me Esme." She replied "Bella are you upset that your property was damaged or is there something…more to this?" She sounded hopeful.

"I suppose I just do not enjoy watching anyone suffer." I told her quietly.

"Even a vampire?" She asked.

"I did not consider vampires very often before I had met one. My father did not wish for a vampire slave for himself at his age and I have very few friends, none of which own vampires." I laughed a bit at my solitude "But seeing one, meeting one made me suspect that they were not like the stories I've heard. Please let this be our secret but I suspect they are closer to humans than we give them credit for. They feel pain just as we do, they have fears and I suspect wants of their own that no one considers…." I trailed off nervously. Surely she would find me completely insane. Why was I babbling like a complete lunatic? I met her eyes and they were shining as if I had offered her some sort of fantastic gift.

"Bella, perhaps you would like to come visit me and my husband sometime." She requested "He would really love to talk to you under more pleasant circumstances. It is rare to meet other people with such compassion towards vampires, even others in his field."

I nodded "I would like that very much Esme."

Dr. Cullen appeared in the doorway. "Miss Swan, the retrieval was a success. I believe your vampire will be just fine. I have given your father an extra strong ointment for the wound. Someone shall have to reapply it every six hours for the next couple of days. Other than that make sure the vampire is comfortable and that his upper half is elevated at all times. I'll take one more look at the wound in a week or so just to make sure it has healed completely."

"Thank you Dr. Cullen." I said with sincerity. He smiled at me.

I could feel the tension in the car. Bella kept begging her father to let me stay in the guestroom instead of on my mat. She insisted the mat would be uncomfortable and I couldn't be propped up properly. Her father, though sympathetic with her cause denied her. He said it would raise questions among the servants and they were likely to gossip to servants at other homes. He did not wish for that kind of attention and suspicion. I sensed he felt strongly about keeping up appearances. Bella cared for him too much to argue. She sensed his weariness.

When we arrived at the house Jessica took me upstairs. She seemed to try her best to cause me at least minor pain. It was as though she had cause to despise me. I suppose being a vampire was enough for some people. She practically threw me on my mat and instructed me to not move "I'm sure Miss Bella would not want to be disturbed while she scrubs your filthy blood off of herself." She spat. I could hear Bella bickering in her room with her dressing maid who seemed very upset that her new dress was dirtied.

"Oh Alice don't be so fretful! You know how clumsy I am and how many times my dresses have been covered in mud or blood or both."

I heard Alice laugh a bit "I apologize Miss Bella. I'll have a nightgown chosen for you for when you get out of her bath." I suspected Alice was more than a friend to Bella, that she was a confidant of sorts. There seemed to be tenderness in their interaction. "Shall I have dinner sent up to you?"

"Yes that would be nice, I am quite weary after today." Bella replied.

When Jessica came up with dinner I could hear her giving Bella an earful. She was completely out of line as a servant, or civilized human being for that matter but Bella handled it quite diplomatically. "Miss Bella, I may speaking out of my place but I cannot understand why you would upset Mr. Newton like that over a little thing like shooting a vampire. I mean they are not even people! He was very angry when you left, just pacing around the drawing room and ranting. You know he is normally such a gentleman. Perhaps in the future you should consider _his_ feelings more."

"Thank you Jessica, you may go now." Bella replied. Jessica huffed and muttered something under her breath. Some time passed and I assumed that it was because Bella ate slowly and carefully like a lady should even though she had no one to impress. I changed into my pajama pants for it was getting late.

"Edward, could you please come out here?" I stepped out and looked at her. That peach nightgown was going to be my undoing. She caught me staring and blushed. "I was thinking if you'd like you could stay in my bed tonight." She blushed even more. It was positively adorable. "I'm sure I could sleep on the far end of the bed and I would not disturb you. I just thought you would be more comfortable on a soft bed than that dreadful mat and we would be able to prop you up. I can keep a light on so you may read. I picked out some books for you. If you don't like them I can pick out other ones…" She trailed off aware she was rambling.

"Thank you, I'd like that very much. And I don't need light to read, we vampires have excellent night vision." She propped up the pillows on the left side of the bed and fluffed them for me. I took that as my cue and slowly climbed into the bed. It was unbelievably soft. The mattress was soft, the pillows were soft, and of course the sheets were soft. It felt like climbing into heaven's clouds. She disappeared into my room for a moment and when she returned she had the small white bottle from Dr. Cullen. I completely forgot it must have been six hours. The ride to Dr. Cullen alone was a solid hour and a half in one direction.

The pain in my right shoulder was still severe but Dr. Cullen assured me it would be virtually nonexistent in a week. I just had to keep it covered up and apply the ointment. I thought there was a chance I could apply it myself but I didn't want to risk the pain of using my right arm and a part of me was aching to be touched by Bella. Gingerly she removed the bandage now stained with blood. She dabbed the cream on her finger and very slowly and cautiously ran it over my wound. I groaned, even with her gentle touch it was still painful too touch. What kind of Nosferite was in that bullet anyways? Vampires have no risk of infection so she used the same bandage as before. Despite the pain it felt so good to have her touching me. Especially when her fingers brushed up against the outskirts of the bandage. I wanted to pull her close to me and feel her body against mine, to feel her breath on my skin, I wanted her closer than she would ever want me. The realization hit.

Bella was waiting to be in love. Perhaps she was in love with someone already, I wouldn't know. And despite her kindness no human could ever love a vampire. A new kind of pain ripped through me. The pain of inevitable rejection. Someday she would meet someone and marry them, there would be no use for me anymore. I would be sent to the factories or resold. But the anticipated torture wasn't the worst part, the worst part was being without her. To know someone else was kissing her and making her blush, that was the true agony. She turned off the light by her bedside and made herself comfortable on her side of the bed. I tried to read but I kept sneaking glances in her direction.

Her mahogany hair was spread out on the pillow and her skin glowed in the moonlight. She spoke "No Michael….please….stop it…." Had he hurt in the past? Gun or not I would be forced to kill him if that were true. "No Michael…don't hurt him….he's…." She was dreaming about today. Tears ran down her perfect cheeks. Had my pain meant that much to her? I wanted to wrap my arms around her and comfort her. Her body shook with sobs. I couldn't take it anymore. She had done the same for me; I was going to wake her from her nightmare. "Bella! Bella!" I said shaking her softly. "Wake up!" She opened up her teary eyes and gazed at me fearfully. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to my chest. I held her there as she fell asleep again. I told myself it was for her but the truth was I didn't want to let her go. I closed my eyes and buried my face in her hair. She smelled sweet, like strawberries and freesia. She was so warm and lovely, I would be content to hold her for all eternity.

_Here it is! The little house is based off of something I saw at a museum in Newport RI. In fact a lot of Bella's life is based on Astor/Vanderbilt/Rockefeller crowd. _

_Reviews encourage me to write faster. 3  
_


	3. Chapter 3

_God I suck! I am so sorry! I've had finals/writer's block/retail hell season and all that jazz. Please please pleeeeaaaase forgive me. I actually am starting Chapter 4 tomorrow hopefully. I have a much better idea of what I am going to do with this story and now I am on break so expect an update relatively soon. Thank you for your patience with me and please tune in to my ranting at the bottom for a special offer._

**Bella**

I awoke against something smooth and cold and hard. Edward. Oh good heavens, had I fallen asleep against him? He must be terribly annoyed with me, how was he supposed to read this way? I scrambled up from the bed trying to find the courage to properly apologize. "I'm…I am so sorry….I didn't mean to…oh lord!" I scurried into the bathroom to hide my shame. But just before that I had glanced at him. He looked disappointed and sad. It was almost as if-no, Isabella Marie Swan don't be ridiculous; a vampire can feel nothing but contempt for a human. He may be tolerant of you but he will never care for you.

But I cared for him, deeply. I don't know how it happened but it just did. He had the most beautiful eyes, they were so expressive. He was lovely of course. A girl as plain as I am will always be enamored with handsome creatures; it is the way of the world. But there was more, there was a certain vulnerability to him. There were parts of him that hurt that I desperately wanted to heal. I felt so silly thinking that but I couldn't help it. I heard Alice knock on the door and his footsteps quickly exiting the room. It was safe to go back.

"Bella hurry up and open the door! You are going to Miss Exeter's house for tea today with Mr. Black, have you completely forgotten?"

"No, no I haven't Alice." I replied quickly answering the door. Alice stood there with a cream colored silk blouse and a pink herringbone skirt with a matching jacket. She immediately began yanking my nightgown off of me and handing me my underpinnings. I was quiet as she dressed me, engrossed in my thoughts; thoughts of Edward to be exact. Alice kept chattering away about her love, Jasper the stable boy. I heard her mentioning going to see him later but I wasn't really paying attention.

She buttoned the last button on my skirt and shoved me before the mirror. "You know you are beautiful, right?"

I shook my head "Alice, don't be ridiculous." She frowned. I peered through the window at the front lawn I could see a car pulling towards the front of the house, it was Jacob's. "Alice! Alice! He's here!" I squealed with delight. I took off running towards the stairs. I hadn't seen Jacob in an age. I could not contain my excitement. Despite being in delicate ladies' shoes and my clumsiness I got to the front doors quickly and burst through them with unmatched enthusiasm. Jacob was stepping out of his car.  
"Bella!" He exclaimed joyously.

"Jacob!" I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck he picked up and twirled me around. "It's so good to see you!"

"Same to you Bella. Oh Clara can't wait to see you again either." Clara was Jacob's fiancée. They had been betrothed since birth but unlike most arranged marriages they were madly in love. They made quite a pair; delicate doll-like Clara who was not even five feet tall and Jake was practically a giant. He joked that he could close his hands around her waist. I said he could put her in his pocket and carry her around. Clara and Jake were my best friends. We grew up together. "You won't believe the ring I found for her. She loved it!"

"You got her a ring Jacob?" I asked.

"The wedding is next June, so far only our families know so you're first in on the secret. Don't tell her I said this but she wants you as the maid of honor."

I beamed "I'd love that." He put his arm around me like an older brother and we walked into the house

"I wanted to get here early so I can talk to you about what I'm going to give her as an engagement present. Bells, I haven't got a clue."

"We'll discuss it over breakfast Jake." My father was thrilled to see Jacob. He always liked him. I always suspected a part of Charlie was disappointed that he was going to marry Clara but he knew to keep that to himself. I don't think he really understood how perfect Jake and Clara were for one another. And Jake couldn't stop talking about her. He was excited for the engagement party next week and I promised I would attend. I also promised I'd help him find a gift for her. Alice who had come down to say hello was thrilled about the engagement party, it meant she could put me in a fancy gown. I told her that the star of the evening would be Clara in hopes she would not go overboard. It was far too easy for Alice to go overboard. Of course she had a million questions for Jake about the ring. How big was it? How much did it cost? Where did he buy it? The morning had passed without any more thoughts of Edward. Charlie didn't even bring him up. Jake apologized that he and Clara couldn't make it to my birthday. Clara's great aunt had died and they had to go to her home for the funeral. He told me today's tea would be our little birthday party and he and Clara had gotten me gifts.

Clara met us in front on her home. She embraced me right away and we kissed on both cheeks. I wanted to see the ring Jake bought her and I was not disappointed. I pictured poor Jake whose mother died when he was young in the finest jewelry store trying to find a ring with out the consultation of a woman. He did a very good job however. It truly was a diamond as big at the Ritz. It looked almost comical on her tiny childlike hand. Jake gave me a jeweled music box for my birthday with a dancing fairy in it; he confessed that Clara picked it out however. Inside the jewelry box was Clara's gift which was a beautiful opal ring. I tucked it into the bottom drawer of the jewelry box for safekeeping. The hours seemed to fly by with them and we sat in Clara's drawing room until dark. I had completely forgotten about everything else in the world until I got home.

**Edward**

I watched her run to the lawn. Outside a young man stood. He was as tall as a tree and broad as a barn. She ran to him as if she saw nothing in the world but him. He wrapped his arms around her and spun her around. I could see her laughing. I felt my lifeless heart ache. She certainly loved him, was in love with him. There was no hope for me. Of course, how could there be? What was I thinking? She was human; she could be sweet to me but she would have to live her human life far away from me. To think I dreamed of being with her! How could I? She would want a human husband who would give her a normal life. If I could cry I surely would.

No maid came to help with my ointment. I had to apply it myself which was both painful and difficult. The rest of the day I languished on my mat even though it was painful uncomfortable. The idea of going into Bella's room made me feel sick. Everything there would smell like her, it would remind of her and I did not want that. It hurt too much to think of her. So I sat in pain, both physical and emotional and miserable silence. I tried reading the books she had given me. The first one I picked up without looking at the title, it was a book of fairytales and because the fates must despise me the first one in anthology was "Sleeping Beauty." Of course I thought immediately of the first night watching her sleep and hurled it across the room. Another prince would wake my Sleeping Beauty.

I heard two pairs of footsteps and voices, one Alice's and one Bella's. Alice spoke "Are you excited for the engagement party?" If my heart could beat it would surely have stopped then; an engagement party, obviously for Bella and the giant. It was over. Alice was talking about what dress Bella should wear and Bella was embarrassed. From the little time I had spent with her I could tell she did not like attention very much. I also could tell I was in love with her and now I knew I would never have her.

I wanted to break everything in site. I want to tear myself open and destroy myself. I couldn't live like this. Alice said goodbye and I heard the door close. I became aware of the pain in my shoulder. "Edward!" She exclaimed, almost to herself. "Edward!" She called out again and I stepped into her room. God she was beautiful. "Oh good heavens I am so sorry! I completely forgot! How could I? Oh I do hope you can forgive me." She bolted into my room to get the ointment and I froze. How could I ever have her touch me? To feel her soft fingertips against my skin would be pure torture.

She appeared in the doorway unscrewing the cap from the bottle. "Bella," I growled "I think it would be best if you left such things to servants." I looked at her and her eyes were wide with shock, and then hurt. She looked as if I had slapped her. I realized how harsh I had sounded. I want to comfort her, to wrap my arms around her delicate frame, I wanted to beg for forgiveness but I could do none of these things.

She looked down "Of course, I shall call for Jessica or Angela right away. I hid in my room deeply ashamed. She called the downstairs and I heard her step into her bathroom. She was hiding from me. I felt like a monster. How could I have harmed something so perfect and sweet? Even if she could never love me perhaps she could at least not despise me as I am sure she did now. Jessica came up shortly and yanked at me and slapped the ointment on me. I hissed in pain and regretted my interaction with Bella even further.

After I was sure she had gone to sleep I snuck into her room to watch her. Beautiful, perfect Sleeping Beauty. Something glimmered in the light on her face: tears. She had cried herself to sleep. Was it because of me? I moved closer to the bed to make sure I had no imagined it, I had not. I wanted to wake her and tell her I was sorry but I couldn't. I knew she would forgive me and I couldn't live with that. I couldn't have her so close yet so far away. So I did something I shouldn't have ever done. I leaned over the bed and gently kissed her. She softly smiled in her sleep and I could feel my heart melting. I watched her sleep until morning and when she began to wake up I retreated to my room.

The next few days I hid from her and she seemed to hide from me. I followed her sometimes, just to watch her and bask in her loveliness. When the sun was out she would read outside under the trees and when it was too cool or the day it rained she hid in the library. Never did she spend any time in her room except when she went to bed. Jessica made her appearances to care for me/try to hurt me. And every night I would watch Bella sleep, and every night she would sad. I didn't kiss her again, though lord knows I wanted nothing more.

I had a fantasy I revisited when alone. It was night and she was sleeping. I could hear her steady heartbeat and even breaths. I moved close to the bed and leaned over her, close enough to feel her breath on my skin. I closed the space between us with a soft kiss. Her eyes flew open. "Edward." She would whisper breathily. I would freeze, unsure what to do. Her little arms wound around my neck and she pulled me back towards her. She kissed me with passion and I responded eagerly. The rest of it was too indecent to admit to thinking of such a virtuous young woman. Every night I would inch closer to the bed, hoping to make fantasy reality and every night I told myself it was too absurd to me true and kept my distance.

_Okay here's the deal in order to get reviews (which help validate me, hahaha)/get my butt working on the next chapter here's the deal: If you review I will send you a short teaser for chapter four. If you are an annon. reviewer and want a teaser you can leave me an email/myspace url/whatever. I love you guys for serious._

_-gingerbreadcoffin  
_


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